NIGERIA MASTERWEB DAILY NEWS

By: Biodun Oyeleye. I note with great interest the compelling article by ‘Sister Jess’ in last week’s edition of The Punch Newspaper (Pulpit Politicians) on the unfortunate apparent turn of focus by Nigerian Pastors (or more conveniently churches) and how this has affected the world of youngsters, particularly teenagers. As a pastor and someone with interest in young people, I cannot but weep along with the likes of Sister Jess when one looks at the diverse challenges facing those in this age bracket and how seemingly they are neglected. Pastors who focus more on prosperity messages than cautioning and warning against sinful lifestyles are surely a problem to the body of Christ, but I would rather ask Sister Jess to let us focus more on parents and their roles in moulding the character of young people than this set of clergy. In any case I am yet to accept that the role of the church in moulding the lives of teens is greater than those of the parents. It appears to me that critics of the church and its message of prosperity often overlook two simple facts namely; that while the gospel may be free, the means of preaching it is not and that with the failure of government in providing social needs of citizens, the church has become an alternative government in seeking for avenues to meet the needs of the people. The first point may need little or no elaboration. For instance Jesus Christ rode on a donkey into Jerusalem towards His last days on earth. It was free, but no it was not because it cost someone to have released such ‘property’ for the master’s use. The second leg of the argument perhaps needs a little more explanation and it is this; that in social systems where the government lives up to its role of providing employment, welfare insurance, old age care etc, the church would not be saddled with some of the responsibilities it is carrying today. Again, there should be no argument among believers that the church will continually need to explain the principles, mark the word please, principles, of prosperity because it is scriptural and it is needed even at such a time like this when observing such is a biblical guarantee of improved living and of course enhanced treasure in heaven. Does that mean I support flamboyant pastors who fleece their flocks to make their own robes of gold? No, because it is not scriptural. But should the fact of some people doing it the wrong way stop the church from preaching what is true? Again the answer is no, because even if non-church goers practice the principles it will still benefit them and of course it is not every church that preaches such messages that knows the true God. But beyond these, my major concern was Sister Jess’s conclusion that it is the church that can give ‘the direction, godly mentoring and nurturing’ for the young ones and not their parents or even their teachers. I agree that not even school teachers are in the best position to train a child. But I will find it difficult to concede that the church has more roles to play in the upbringing of children than parents. Once upon a time we used to look up to teachers for such ideals but with the fall in societal values, we are now running to the church apparently to support my earlier observation that the church has become alternative government, a powerful social institution. I agree that the church has influence, but I submit that parents have far greater role to play than the church in the matter at hand. The role of the church is to teach the right thing, but it is the duty of parents to implement the word of God in the lives of the children. Between the church and the home, where does a child spend the greater part of his time? Between the pastor and the parents, whom does the child see more often? If the church fails, should a godly parent do? Parents are abdicating their roles at home, giving some to schools and now another portion to the church while they go about their daily search for bread and butter as if meeting the material needs of the home is the beginning and end of parenting. They don’t have time for their children let alone for the church. Who will God judge for the life of a child, the church or the parent? I think the example of Prophet Eli in the bible is good enough here. The story of Eli in a way exemplifies the Yoruba concept of ‘Abiiko’ and ‘Akoogba’. While the latter is the child who has refused to obey parental directives, the former is the spoilt brat who has been left to his own desires due to parental laxity. Hopni and Phineas, the two sons of Eli fall into the second category if we accept their father’s explanations that he had not taught them the waywardness they were exhibiting in the temple. But when the judgment of God came, it showed that God looked at the matter from the perspective of the first category; that Eli had failed to teach the children the proper thing and elevated them above God by his failure to ensure they followed the godly direction. The popular scripture for child training for all men is Proverbs 22:6. “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (NASB77). Adam Clarke's Commentary explains that versesuccintly: “The Hebrew of this clause is curious: chanoch lannaar al pi darco, "Initiate the child at the opening (the mouth) of his path." When he comes to the opening of the way of life, being able to walk alone, and to choose; stop at this entrance, and begin a series of instructions, how he is to conduct himself in every step he takes. Show him the duties, the dangers, and the blessings of the path; give him directions how to perform the duties, how to escape the dangers, and how to secure the blessings, which all lie before him. “Fix these on his mind by daily inculcation, till their impression is become indelible; then lead him to practice by slow and almost imperceptible degrees, till each indelible impression becomes a strongly radicated habit. Beg incessantly the blessing of God on all this teaching and discipline; and then you have obeyed the injunction of the wisest of men. Nor is there any likelihood that such impressions shall ever be effaced, or that such habits shall ever be destroyed. “Chanac, which we translate train up or initiate, signifies also dedicate; and is often used for the consecrating any thing, house, or person, to the service of God. Dedicate, therefore, in the first instance, your child to God; and nurse, teach, and discipline him as God's child, whom he has intrusted to your care. These things observed, and illustrated by your own conduct, the child (you have God's word for it) will never depart from the path of life. Coverdale translates the passage thus: "Yf thou teachest a childe what waye he shoulde go, he shall not leave it when he is olde." HORACE's maxim is nearly like that of Solomon:— "The docile colt is form'd with gentle skill To move obedient to his rider's will. In the loud hall the hound is taught to bay The buckskin trail'd, then challenges his prey Through the wild woods. Thus, in your hour of youth From pure instruction quaff the words of truth: The odours of the wine that first shall stain The virgin vessel, it shall long retain." FRANCIS.” What of Ephesians 6: 4, which gives the duty of child training to the father? The same Adam Clarke's Commentary explains the term ‘Bring them up’ thus: “literally, nourish them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. The mind is to be nourished with wholesome discipline and instruction, as the body is with proper food. Discipline, may refer to all that knowledge which is proper for children, including elementary principles and rules for behaviour, etc, instruction, may imply whatever is necessary to form the mind; to touch, regulate, and purify the passions; and necessarily includes the whole of religion. My last reference shall be Deuteronomy 6: 6-8. The Bible in Basic English (BBE) renders that passage thus: “Keep these words, which I say to you this day, deep in your hearts; Teaching them to your children with all care, talking of them when you are at rest in your house or walking by the way, when you go to sleep and when you get up. Let them be fixed as a sign on your hand, and marked on your brow”. Like Sister Jess, we also run programmes with Teenagers and I would like to share two insights we have gained from asking them questions or responding to their curiosities all which perhaps have influenced my opinion. In one instance, we asked participants to indicate whether any of them would have loved another couple in their congregation to be his/her parents and to explain why. Those that answered the question positively gave almost the same reason even though they chose different couples in their congregations. They were bothered that their parents were not providing the atmosphere for peace and correct spirituality at home even though they are Christians. In another instance, we asked them to list a few things that they wish their parents knew about them. Let me share a few of their answers here: “I wish my mummy understand that I do think deeply in my understanding”, “I wish my parents understand my deep interest in God”, “I wish my daddy understands that I can be a changed person” “I wish my daddy understands that I can still make it in life”, “I wish daddy will invest in my education; buy me text books; send me to extra-mural lessons etc”, “I wish my parents know the level of my goals and dreams”, “I wish my parents know I am set for certain life standards”, “How I wish my mummy understand that there is this thing bothering my heart”, “. I wish my mummy knows that I can be ‘otherwise’ if I choose to”. That is why I maintain that, yes while the church has its duty in teaching the way of the Lord (Ezekiel 43:10-11) it is the responsibility of parents to lead that way for their wards to follow. I was at a recent Teenagers Conference and the few parents I saw were those who had official roles to perform in that meeting. No other parent turned up even if to see how his or her wards would perform. How would you correct a wrong doing if you don’t see or hear them? The point is if parents would rise up to support the likes of Sister Jess by ensuring young people follow the teachings of the Lord, then there shall be less lamentation. Sister Jess, keep doing your work and may the Lord of help grant you success. *Biodun, a journalist is also an Assistant Pastor responsible for Teens with Dominion Life International Church, Ilorin, Kwara state. He can be reached at bioyenig22@gmail.com or biobiojustkurious.blogspot.com.