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Press Release: Nigeria’s capital To Be Relocated To Somalia!

10/18/11

Press Release: Nigeria’s capital To Be Relocated To Somalia!

*'Nigeria’s capital To Be Relocated To Somalia'

By Ikechukwu Enyiagu

The news reaching me today from the government seat of Nigeria, Abuja, indicates that there is an ongoing plan by the federal government of Nigeria to transfer the Federal Capital Territory to Somalia. The reason behind this decision by the government, it was gathered, was not unconnected with the reason for yet another ongoing arrangement to build three (3) new oil refineries in Indonesia. According to president Goodluck’s administration, “The country is not safe for investments that must yield.” There has been an agreement between the Somali and Nigerian governments to relocate the new capital to Yenagoa but was later decided that the said new capital is to be situated in Somalia, considering “matters arising.”

When one wonders the possibility of this strange moves and the correlation between the warring Somalia and the confused Nigeria, the answers to all these roll in: As Israeli government took the contract of protecting the presidency, the Somali government has taken the contract of directing the Nigerian government on how to keep the head up in years of continued and unending civil war. As gathered, it was agreed that a relocation of the capital to a place like Bayelsa or Rivers would afford the presidency a greater chance of maneuvering through many threats since he gas gained mastery of the creeks from childhood. However, considering the uncertainties and unstable nature of the Niger Delta region, and the seeming resilience of the Somali government in a war-torn country, Nigeria has finally agreed to shift its seat of power to Somalia. This is the news coming from Nigerian government, the seat of poisonous and life-destroying jokes made by thoughtless elders and leaders of the giant of Africa. Anything is a joke, yet any news goes. ( Continues below..... )

Map of Nigeria

Photo Above: Map of Nigeria showing some major cities, including the Federal capital (Abuja or FCT)

Does anyone understand any of these mentioned above: I do not. Can somebody tell me the meaning of these jokes, if they are? I deeply long to fully comprehend the times of Nigeria in the prophecy and countdown of all times. April Fools usually happen once every year, and in most cases, do not cause any harm. For all the years I have lived a Nigerian, I’ve come to discover that the government of Nigeria is fraught with April Fools; nothing seems as it sounds. Should we be more worried about Nigeria’s intention to invest billions of dollars in a distant and disaster-ripped Indonesian soil, should we praise them instead; should we pretend it’s yet happening in the limbo, or should we put up fierce resistance this time?

Indonesia, the fourth largest country in the world, with about three hundred and ninety million (390,000,000) in population, is situated in the Southeast Asia, and having common neighborhood with Papua New Guinea, East Timor, and Malaysia. Apart from the population of Indonesia which constantly threatens the living standard of its citizens, Indonesia is also known as a home for unusual natural disasters. These disasters, which have left everywhere in Indonesia susceptible, usually come unannounced. The population of Indonesia has almost turned the citizens into Nigerians-slaving for others wherever they may be accepted. Indonesians can be found in their numbers in Malaysia, Thailand, Saudi Arabia, U.A.E., and other countries, doing every conceivable odd job. An average doctor in Indonesia earns a peanut-salary. In other words, Indonesia is in a struggling situation; one which, perhaps, is worse than that of Nigeria when derivations and manpower are considered. ( Continues below….. )

Map of Africa

Photo Above: Map of Africa showing Somalia, Nigeria and other countries

Nigeria has the largest number of unemployed graduates, yet we are building more universities. We would prefer squeezing parents dry of all their savings in other to train their children, and when it’s job creation, we would rather create them for Indonesians and others instead of Nigerians. Nigeria has one of the best of lands, yet we would prefer to relocate our infrastructures to other countries. Nigeria mines oil, yet we would opt to refine them abroad, and then, ship a few back to the country-causing untold hardship on Nigerians. We have the human resources, but the concerns of our leaders have nothing in common with alleviating poverty; on the contrary, their aim is to make life unlivable for true Nigerians. ( Continues below….. )

Workers at work in a Nigerian oil rig

Photo Above: Workers at work in a Nigerian oil rig

There are several Nigerian graduates with every qualification and proof for success, but the government would prefer to work with those who bought their certificates, who drank and slept their ways through college, as advisors. If Nigeria is not safe and fit for Nigerian investments, which country would you expect to come in to invest? If the Nigerian government agrees to partner in a venture which would gulp our billions of dollars in other to provide thousands of jobs for citizens of another country, who would provide jobs for Nigerians? As it is now, another news has come out from the government, denying any involvement with the Indonesian plot. Then it’s a joke, just like the Somalia joke; only, let’s watch out how this joke becomes another incurable disease against Nigerians. ( Continues below..... )

Nigerians queue up to buy fuel at a filling station

Photo Above: Nigerians queue up to buy fuel at a filling station.

A bishop once called Nigerians: a “suffering and smiling” people; Pastor Tunde Bakare said that Nigerians are idiots ruled by fools, that “it takes idiots to be ruled by fools.” My question is: how elastic can Nigerians get? Has our elastic limit, our patience, our indifference not exceeded? Whose duty is it to tell the leaders to stop or step aside? Kerosene has long become a rich man’s privileges in Nigeria, and one would budget specially for petrol while he budgets for a car; what then shall the ongoing “fuel subsidy removal” do to Nigerians? ( Continues below..... )

Pastor Tunde Bakare

Photo Above: Pastor Tunde Bakare

Crimes grow with unimaginable rates in Nigeria simply because no one remembers his duties to the leaders of this country, which duties include, first and foremost, calling them to order. Nigerians would prefer to become and remain individual thieves than to task the government to do what is right. It’s no progress, no one should celebrate; it’s a generational decay. I put it to you that a country with highly corrupt leadership yields nothing but highly corrupt businessmen, schools, religious leaders, relationships, children, and future.

Until and unless Nigerians learn to live a true life, ours shall be worse than Sodom and Gomorrah. The labor union is a collateral damage. Only a mass call: from schools to markets, from labor union to teachers; from hospitals to lawyers and from religious places to mothers for A Sovereign National Conference would help the future we all are trying very hard to build and protect today. He who believes in God and reads that “sin is a reproach to any nation” but goes ahead to develop his personal fraudulent abilities as means to overcome the government callousness, instead of standing up, risking what has forever been risked, and shouting a big No to the government, such a man deceives his soul. A man has lost every excuse who does not strife to obey.

Ikechukwu Enyiagu can be reached at ike.enyiagu@gmail.com

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*Tags: Nigerians, Capital, Relocated, Somalia, Africa, Masterweb

Map of Nigeria

14 comments

Comment from: TIMI [Visitor]
TIMIJokes or no jokes,this is a true reflection of what Nigeria is.Rather than confront issues,Nigerians would rather call on God and does play into the hands of the few Rogues ruling them,because the rogues also call on the same God praying that the masses would not wake up from their slumber.Very interesting.
10/18/11 @ 14:06
Comment from: Ukonu [Visitor]
UkonuThe government of Nigeria has for long taken the masses for a fool, docile and inactive populace who cannot and will not react to whatever the government does. The Nigerian government believes strongly that the populace are gullible that government actions cannot be questioned. The government of Nigeria have mastered the characteristics of the populace that they abuse governance with impunity because nobody can question them.

In whatever the Nigerian government does to the populace and believe they can get away with murder, they should remember what is happening in Libya. One day they federal government will suffer the same fate if they cannot turn away from the politicians and leaders evil and corrupt ways. I do not need to recount the woes of the populace are going through in the hands of the ruling class.

Nigeria has a long way to go as long as the corrupt politicians and leaders are still in position of power.
10/18/11 @ 23:20
Comment from: Billy [Visitor]
BillyYou are a very good herbalist or a soothsayer. U have spoken the truth. The answer to the problem on ground is simply revolution! We need it instead of dying piece-mealy. What we have in Nigeria is simply a militarised democracy. Thanks to Baba Ota, the king maker. The great Jester is not helping matter. Sorry, he's never chop soup.
10/19/11 @ 00:44
Comment from: bamishe [Visitor]
bamisheSir, you have spoken; some years back some of our forefather fought for our freedom but unfortunately our fathers have sold us back to these people. Nigerians leaving outside countries they are slaves and those leaving in Nigeria they are slaves. who is going to deliver this great country?
10/19/11 @ 06:10
Comment from: Olasupo nurudeen [Visitor] Email
Olasupo nurudeenI think we should all wake up this is the right time to fight with our corrupt leader s. We should all join hands together even if would take our lives for our children to enjoy. This is because, they have already killed us morally,spiritually and socially. We should not let them kill us finally in silence.
10/19/11 @ 09:45
Comment from: Eniedi A. E [Visitor]
Eniedi A. EI am ashamed to be a Nigerian leaving in Malaysia, but yet i am a Nigerian. I am ashamed of my counrty Nigeria, yet its my motherland/country.

Nigerians, its time to say NO to all the trash the shameless Government is throwing at Nigerians (YOU).
10/19/11 @ 21:44
Comment from: tony obike [Visitor] Email
tony obikebeautifull write up. everybody knows what the country has become but nobodody wants to bell the cat. I dont no why it is difficult for our president to stand up and say no to corruption and all the other social vices in our country and not just in lips service, at least he will forever be remembered in history like martin luther king jr. its shamefull it is still business as usuall everywhere in Nigeria
10/20/11 @ 03:35
Comment from: KISINGTON [Visitor]
KISINGTONThe joke about building a refinery in a foreign land is highly unthinkable. Until the masses rise up against rouges parading themselves as Leaders, things won't change in this country. As Jesus put it "what shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and loose his own soul" impliedly, what shall it profit our leaders to loot all the treasures in this country and watch their fellow citizens suffer in penury? Only God who delivered the Izrealites from the hand of Pharoh will deliver us from their hands.
10/20/11 @ 08:13
Comment from: Nana [Visitor]
NanaWe need to work together to save this great nation. Every body has to sacrifies for this nation. Lets not blame only the leaders because corruption is everywhere.FELLOW NIGERIANS LETS SAY NO TO CORRUPTION.
10/20/11 @ 11:24
Comment from: Loveth-Chris [Visitor]
Loveth-Chriscan it really happen?
10/21/11 @ 14:53
Comment from: Dr Charls Okenna [Visitor] Email
Dr Charls OkennaThis can,t be possible.that means that one day the FG WILL ask us to relocate to Ghana.
10/27/11 @ 18:51
Comment from: Anyika chibuike [Visitor] Email
Anyika chibuikeModesty has its root in the inside/spirit. Wether your article is literal or figurative, there is no need of using the harmmer of arguement to drive away the nail of truth, for such things are directly or similarly happening in this country, no gain to pretend. The solution is CHANGE and the change is NOW but YOU must first of all CHANGE YOURSELF
11/13/11 @ 13:34
Comment from: Samson Okeke [Visitor]
Samson OkekeNigeria has failed as a nation. The most corrupt nation on earth.Greed to amass personal wealth through dubious and illicit ways irrespective of negative impact caused to the economy and fellow Nigerians.Egoism,unpatriotic,and get rich at all cost are
some of the characteristic of today average Nigerian. I think we should emulate the present revolution sweeping through the northern African Nations.Full accountability of every living politician and if found with the slightest suspicion of fraud should be charged and if convicted should be given maximum sentence without the possibility of being pardon in the future by any one.No body is safe from 419 nation as the entire country is vulnerable to that cancerous attack even from your own family members.Sometimes i wonder if the biggest mistake made by the British in their quest to facilitate their colonial governance by amalgamating tribes of different people in all aspect of life by naming them Nigerians.What an irreparable damaged done to the future generation of this land .I strongly suggest we reverse the British amalgamation of tribes and ethnic groups.We most change our ways of doing almost everything.
12/01/11 @ 11:05
Comment from: Array [Visitor] Email
ArrayWell nice write up. The leader should be careful because the citizen are wise now, one day the unexpected will happen in this country and when it does happen their kind will never show their faces again.
03/02/12 @ 05:15

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